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Chatting with a friend today about her daughter, I was reminded that it’s Mental Health Awareness Month. “She’s just been struggling such a lot,” said my friend. “All through lockdown she’s been so anxious. And now that things are opening up again…”
“She’s even more anxious?” I suggested. My friend nodded.
Sound familiar? We’ve all been through the most stressful year in living memory. In the UK we’re making strides, restrictions are easing, and we’re able to get together with friends and family again. We’re all breathing a huge sigh of collective relief. So why are we still feeling anxious? What’s wrong with us? Why can’t we simply be grateful? Why can’t we sleep?
Turns out it’s not that simple. Globally there’s still a lot of suffering, and that takes its toll on all of us – not to mention the spectre of different variants sending us back to square one.
How do you combat it? “Be grateful,” they say. “Habits of mind are everything.” It’s true, too, I know it is. I’ve been finding, though, that the fluffy pillows of my gratitude are no match for the lorryloads of anxiety that have been set in motion.
You’re not alone. It’s not you. You’re not broken. It’s just a bloody hard situation to be in and this new phase brings tantalising hope and relief, yes, but also new and exciting kinds of stress.
SO WHAT HELPS THEN, NIFTY FOX?
We’ve got seven tips for you to help get those anxiety lorries safely parked. Check ‘em out.
Connecting. Although we’re able now to meet and mingle, many of us want to take it slowly. Really slowly. Still, there’s good news. If lockdown has taught us anything it’s that there are options out there. Need your people? But feeling agoraphopic? Oh, friend, we feel you. Try one of these remote social events and feel your cockles warm right up. Pair with a cup of tea and a crumpet. (For some of us, even just *saying* crumpet makes us feel a whole heap better.)
Play board games live with friends, complete with video chat. (Pandemic, anyone?)
Online murder mysteries are, er, to die for. Sign up with friends! Here’s one to try.
Of course laughter is the best de-stresser. Try online Comedy Nights! We can recommend this one.
Or how about crafternoons? Set up a Zoom and craft! Very calming, very fun.
Gardening. Seriously. If you have a garden, find an hour to go out and help it make the most of spring. I know the weather is as uncertain as next week’s restriction rules, but we’re getting some lovely moments, and this is SCIENCE, people, you can’t argue with science. Soil has chemical properties that calm anxiety and lift depression. Fact.
Walking. Especially walking outside. (I walk around my house for hours like a caged tiger sometimes and it’s better than nothing but it’s not like having the rain in your face. Truly.) And especially especially walking outside amongst green growing things.
Speaking of which... Green Growing Things are a great anxiety reliever. Find a patch of woodland or a park. Smell the smells. Gaze at the phenomenal green of spring, up close and personal, and you will feel your heart ease.Can’t get to a park for a walk? Get your Green Growing Things fix from the internet. Research says that looking at pictures helps, even without setting foot outside. Here’s some research. Here’s a video guaranteed to green away all your palpitations. Partner it with a deep breathing exercise from below and Bob’s your uncle.
Breathing. Turns out we need it. Mostly we do it without thinking about it, but also mostly we don’t do it very well. Breathing exercises, as any therapist will tell you, are calming, grounding, and relaxing. Any actor will also tell you that they open you up. They let you engage with your thoughts and emotions without feeling driven by them. That means you can make choices and direct yourself more capably. And since anxiety gets so much of its power from helplessness, well, that is a Very Good Thing. For a quick list of exercises, try this. For something a bit more longform with explanations, background, and a free app, try this.
Hand in hand (or nostril in nostril) with breathing is meditation. Ohhh, meditation. We all know we should do it. If you do the breathing exercises above you actually will be meditating, but there are ways to take it further. “BUT I DON”T HAVE TIME TO SIT AROUND DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!” screams our anxiety. Fun fact: meditating MAKES time. It changes our experience of time so you actually have more of it because you’re able to be in the moment more effectively. Astonishing. Magical. Paradoxical. And true. Want to know more about it? Click here. Want to try a guided exercise? There are many out there, so so many. I just tried this one (short and practical) and you could pour me out of a jug right now. This one’s more extensive and also uses Green Growing Things™️. There are many styles out there - it’s worth footling around in YouTube a bit to find something that works for you.
Yoga! If you had three nostrils (and maybe you do) yoga would be nostril in nostril in nostril with breathing and meditation. It’s the supergreen smoothie of anti-anxiety practices. How do I know this? I don’t. I trust my friends, who have actually tried it. And I WILL try it. Tomorrow. Because I do trust my friends. For an intro to the one they recommend, click here.
None of those things will fix COVID or climate change or the Israeli/Palestinian conflict, but any of them will help wrangle the anxiety lorries into their parking places. Do one or more every day and you’ll save a lot of petrol. They’re strategies to help put you in control of yourself, and that’s really all we can control, ever, right? Ourselves. They’ll help us adjust again to an ever-changing world and sort out our needs right now.
Want more tips and anti-anxiety strategies? Try Mind UK’s advice here, and the NHS page here.
Be good to yourselves. Be good to each other. Everyone’s struggling with something, some much more than we can guess. Happy Mental Health Awareness Month!